In recognition of the recent Day, Jos offers an alternative origin story for Valentine’s Day. Your writing prompt, should you choose to accept it: choose another such day (or the same one) and write your own alternative origin story!
Prince Osbert stamped his large flat foot. ‘That Princess Bluebell, she thinks I’m ugly.’
‘No Sir, I’m sure she…..’, his Equerry began to reply.
‘And stupid. She says I don’t talk proper.’
Valiantly the Equerry started again. ‘Sir, I’m sure she…’
‘Get my Painting Master. And me Elocution Master. I’m going to learn her that I’m not stupid.’
The Equerry departed at speed, gladly welcoming the chance to get out of the Prince’s company. Princess Bluebell’s assessment of his master was spot-on.
The Painting Master and the Elocution Master were tucked up cosily with the Butler in the Butler’s pantry, enjoying an absence of Prince, a good gossip and a chance to smoke; the Prince didn’t allow smoking.
‘What, right now?’, they chorused when the Equerry imparted the Prince’s request.
‘Yes now. Something to do with Princess Bluebell thinking he’s ugly and stupid.’
‘Well he is.’
‘Then you tell him!’, the Equerry challenged.
They rose, reluctantly, and set off to find the Prince, who was probably in the Morning Room. The Butler poured the Equerry a glass of port and another one for himself.
With much bowing and scraping, they entered the Morning Room.
‘Ah, there you are!’, the Prince exclaimed, and without pause carried on. ‘I wants to show that Princess Bluebell she got it wrong.’
The Elocution Master opened his mouth, wondering which bit of the sentence to correct first and was very relieved when the Prince carried straight on.
‘I wants you’ – he jabbed a finger at the Painting Master – ‘to paint a picture of me looking really handsome, and you’ – he jabbed the same finger at the Elocution Master – ‘to write a poem or something on the back saying how clever I am and I love her and I wants to marry her.’
He turned to leave. ‘Do it right now – I wants her to have it by tomorrow.’
The two Masters looked at each other blankly. Just then a horse trotted past the Morning Room window. It was a magnificent horse, muscled and fit, the colour of mahogany and shining in the morning sun.
But it was the rider that caught their eye. A young man, also muscled and fit, sitting relaxed, his cap tilted at a jaunty angle over his auburn curly hair and whistling a catchy tune.
Immediately the painter started painting, the poet started poeting, and in a short time, they had a depiction of the man on the horse and a tender, loving poem beautifully scribed on the reverse.
Next morning the same lad on the same horse was entrusted to take the picture to the Princess in her castle.
She was looking out over the drive when she saw a horse cantering up the drive. It was a lovely horse, but then she saw the rider and her heart skipped a beat.
She rushed to the great main door and pushed it open before the footman could do it for her.
‘Ma’am’. The rider dismounted and bowed low. ‘I have this for you.’
He handed her the picture, securely wrapped. She made a right mess of opening it, partly because her hands were shaking, but mainly because she couldn’t take her eyes off the young man.
She looked from man to painting and back to man. She turned it over and read the poem. She leant on the door frame because she thought she was going to faint.
‘It’s not signed’, she murmured weakly. ‘What is your name?’
‘Valentine, Ma’am.’
‘It says here that you love me and you want to marry me.’
‘Er.’
‘So come on then, what are you waiting for? Turn that horse round, give me a leg-up, we can get married at the forge before lunchtime.’
Valentine was a sharp lad – he knew a good thing when he saw it. So he helped her up behind him, and by lunchtime they were Mr Valentine Goodhew and Mrs Bluebell Goodhew, and they lived happily ever after.
And that is the origin of the Valentine card.
Image credit: The original line drawing is by R Emmett Owen illustrating “The Water of Life” one of the Grimm brothers’ Fairy Stories retrieved from the Gutenberg Project website here: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/11027
Brilliant, Jos!