Wednesday, Thursday and a Nice Ogre

This was originally a short sketch, but I’ve pruned it back and left out things like Directions, Props, etc. which we don’t need.

Ron and Don, elderly gentlemen who have been friends and golfing partners for many years are out on the golf course.

Ron:    ‘Windy, isn’t it?’

Don:    ‘No, it’s Thursday.’

Ron:    ‘Thirsty? Yes, I am. Let’s go back to the Clubhouse.’

Ron and Don enter the Clubhouse, rubbing their hands, obviously cold. They walk over to the hearth, were a fire is blazing and warm themselves.

Ron:    ‘What you having?’

Don:    ‘Half please.’

Ron:    ‘Yes, good idea. I’ll get you a pint and bring it over here to the hearth.’

They drink their pints.

Ron:    ‘Can’t stop. It’s our anniversary. I’m taking the old girl out for a meal.’

Don:    ‘Oh I wouldn’t say that! I know your wife. She’s a very pleasant lady. Bit plain, maybe, but certainly not an ogre.’

Don thinks for a second. Sorrowfully.

‘It’s just me and the dog now. Missy. Me and Missy – just us.’

Ron:    ‘Ah no, you’ve got plenty of time. You haven’t missed the bus, it doesn’t leave ‘til half past.’

Don:    ‘Half pissed? Me? No. Fancy another one? The bus doesn’t leave til half past.’

Misheard conversations are such a rich source of inspiration – funny, tragic or just plain ridiculous!

As you can tell this one has been truncated, but that’s deliberate. Write a short, overheard conversation, either transcribe one you have actually overheard, or create one. Perhaps it’s a conversation overheard by a character in your work in progress. Make it humorous or serious as appropriate. Have some fun!

Photo from Unsplash at


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